MADISON, Wis. (WMTV) -- The most wonderful time of year for some can be a difficult time of year for others, especially when it comes to holiday comparisons.
“Every Christmas, which should have been a very happy Christmas for us, I was one of those kids that was not excited about Christmas,” says Michael Johnson, president of Boys & Girls Club of Dane County. “I would see all these other kids getting all these other great toys and electronic devices, and literally, because my family couldn't afford it, we got pretty much nothing."
Before he gave back with the Boys & Girls Club of Dane County, Johnson grew up in the housing projects of Chicago with few gifts under the Christmas tree.
“My family just didn't have the means for those kinds of things,” he says.
This is a problem facing many kids across the country: not receiving holiday gifts, or comparing their small gifts to what others have. Experts say there are ways to avoid that holiday stress and sadness.
“The best gift that parents can give their kids is their presence, just to be present, to be connected, to really spend that quality time uninterrupted,” says Dr. Shilagh Mirgain, distinguished psychologist with UW Health.
For some, the 2019 holiday budget is tight. That means some kids will ask the dreaded question, “Does Santa not like me enough to give the gift I wanted?”
Dr. Mirgain tells NBC15 News the solution to that question is managing your children’s expectations. She say both kids and adults often compare their holiday experiences on social media, quickly turning a bright memory dark.
To avoid this problem, experts suggest turning off your electronics this holiday season, and living in the moment. On top of that, limit the number of gifts you give to your child, and only focus on one or two things they really want.
“If you know it’s going to be a sparser Christmas or holiday season is to tell your child, ‘Hey, your parents talked to Santa and they communicated with Santa around which gifts we think are appropriate, and Santa makes that decision,’” Dr. Mirgain says.
She suggests attributing only a few presents to Santa, and allowing the rest of the holiday gifts to come from family members. If that is not an option, instead try an “experience gift” instead.
“That way children aren’t seeing Santa as this miracle of giving all things, but instead being really intentional about which gifts are coming from Santa,” she says. “Children often remember how the holiday feels, versus what they received. So you can have a special breakfast that you only do once a year. If you are opening gifts, really savor it.”
As for Johnson, he says his early years built a great foundation for him and his organization to give back.
“I would also say for those kids who might feel like, 'Why wasn't I blessed? Why didn't Santa come and take care of me?' I would tell you even though it hurt my heart during those years, it made me stronger as an adult because when you don't get those things as a child, it makes you appreciate things as you get older,” he says.
As NBC15 News reported earlier this week, Johnson and the Boys & Girls Club of Dane County gave back to families in need ahead of the 2019 holidays.
To learn more about how to give back with the Boys & Girls Club of Dane County, click here.
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December 21, 2019 at 05:28AM
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