I recently read an article entitled “Working hard at being happy.” According to the writer, Anglo-Americans and British people are the only ones who put such an emphasis on being happy and avoiding unhappiness.
“In China and Japan people tend to view positive and negative emotions as essential and equal; happiness, in the East, should not be actively pursued, just as sadness should not be actively avoided.”
Americans have taken being happy as their God-given right. It’s as if we’ve decided that I deserve to be happy all the time and if I’m not happy something has to change. I went to a wedding while I was attending graduate school. During the wedding the minister said to the groom, “It’s your job to make Emily happy.” To my utter astonishment, no one in the congregation except me was freaking out. I desperately wanted to stand up and cry “NO IT IS NOT!” By the way, less than five years later, Emily and Stephen were divorced.
The writer of the article continues with “It’s as though appearing unhappy implies some kind of Protestant moral fault: as if you didn’t work hard enough or believe sufficiently in yourself.”
“Happiness has not always been conceived of this way. The Epicurean outlook on happiness—which Thomas Jefferson was thinking of when he enjoined Americans to cherish “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” in the Declaration of Independence—is exceedingly simple and different. As Epicurus saw it, happiness is merely the lack of aponia—physical pain—and ataraxia—mental disturbance. It was not about the pursuit of material gain, or notching up gratifying experiences, but instead was a happiness that lent itself to a constant gratefulness.”
Isn’t that amazing! Jefferson believed it was the right of all humans to pursue constant gratefulness. Think about it. If we are grateful for how we feel, for our sadness, don’t you think that’s going to cause less anxiety? Why do we need to constantly feel happy?
As we are in the Christmas season, if we don’t feel happy, don’t beat ourselves up. The Bible never promises us constant happiness. Jesus certainly didn’t promise that.
I can’t help but think our divorce rate would also decrease. I don’t know how many times I have heard, “I’m not happy” and divorce follows. We should not expect to be constantly happy. We are not guaranteed that.
The article concludes with “What if, instead, happiness were something that we realized ebbs and flows, that negativity is fundamental to life and, ironically, to our happiness? What if we reconditioned ourselves: not to want but to be satisfied in all feelings?” That’s my Christmas wish for all of us.
"Happy" - Google News
December 11, 2019 at 04:42AM
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Being 'happy' isn't necessary - Journaltrib
"Happy" - Google News
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